To various people, forgiveness means different things. In most cases, though, it entails a decision to let go of bitterness and vengeful thoughts. Although the act that injured or offended you may remain with you forever, forgiveness can help you break free from the hold of the person who harmed you.
The beauty of Christianity is that it preaches forgiveness as its central theme. God loves humanity, but we have disobeyed Him and must be forgiven. We can’t earn or deserve forgiveness, so God sent Jesus to earth to live a perfect life and earn forgiveness for us by sacrificing Himself for everything we’ve done wrong. He now provides forgiveness to everyone, but we must confess our sins and accept Jesus’ atonement for us.
Forgiveness is the foundation of your relationship with God, and it should also be the foundation of your relationships with others. Because forgiveness is an important part of the Christian faith, the Bible has a lot to say about it.
Make forgiving others a top priority for a healthy spiritual life.
“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him and let it drop (leave it, let it go), so that your Father who is in heaven may also forgive you your (own) failings and shortcomings and let them drop”. Mark 11:25 NIV.
Because forgiveness is so important, Jesus instructed His disciples to forgive before praying. You didn’t have to earn God’s forgiveness; he simply offered it to you. If you have accepted His forgiveness, you must freely forgive others.
Because the punishment for sin is death, you owe God your life. When others offend you, and you find it difficult to forgive, recall God’s amazing forgiveness and ask Him to help you forgive as He does. When someone has really injured you, you may never be able to trust them again or repair your connection. Regardless, you can forgive and trust God to deliver justice. Practical Steps to Forgiveness:
Forgiveness is sometimes difficult when people blame themselves, at least in part, for what happened.
Before you try to forgive someone else, you need self-compassion and forgiveness. It’s critical to assess whether self-blame is preventing you from forgiving others.
It’s important to remember that it’s never your fault if someone chooses to harm you.
Forgiveness isn’t about brushing things under the rug and saying, “Thanks for letting me know; just don’t do it again.” Forgiveness does not imply forgetting; depending on the circumstances, it may necessitate a period of healing.
Some people never get past the hurt because you can only recover from pain after realizing you’ve been wounded. Admitting it can amplify feelings. Tears, bitterness, and even hatred are signs that something isn’t quite right. Don’t dull or “stuff” your feelings because this will stop you from forgiving others. Instead, try to talk to someone about what happened, preferably a trusted Christian friend. Admit that what happened makes you sad or furious, and be honest about the emotions that are growing up in you, even if you believe you shouldn’t feel that way.
It can help us forgive people if we remember the debt that God forgave us in Christ when we deserved nothing. How can we hold on to grievances committed against us if we have been forgiven so much? This is only another phase in the process, and it doesn’t imply that you have to be ready to forgive your offender at this moment. This may never be feasible because the individual is no longer alive. You can forgive someone even if they don’t accept your forgiveness.
When we have chosen to forgive but the wound remains raw, the devil is a master at gaining a footing. Allowing yourself to relive the offence will only make you feel worse; let go of the hurt and decide to move forward. This is where prayer comes in handy because we are prone to returning to unforgiveness if we are left to our own devices.
“For Christian living, prayer should not be the last resort but rather a top priority. ‘Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you”. Matthew 7:7.
When we let God into our lives, emotions, and thoughts, He can help us. Prayer enables us to communicate with God and build a relationship with Him and rely on Him. As you tell God about the hurt in the place of prayer, you begin to experience the comfort of His spirit and the grace to forgive. Some hurts are so deep that you may not have the strength to forgive on your own. You need the supply of Grace.
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven”. Luke 6:37 NIV
One of the reasons it’s difficult for us to forgive individuals who have wronged us is that we only see their errors. We perceive their dark side and believe they are unworthy of forgiveness. However, Jesus warns us not to pass judgment on others’ errors since we shall be condemned for our own. Remember that no one, including ourselves, is flawless. You will be more receptive to forgiveness if you recognize that the person who has offended you is just as flawed as you are. Furthermore, you’ll know that you and that individual are under God’s grace; therefore, you’re no different from them.
The Bible is pretty clear about what our disposition to people that hurt us should be;
“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you” Matthew 5:44 KJV
This is a simple verse to read, yet it is not simple to put into practice. It is difficult to love individuals who have hurt us without the power of God’s love and forgiveness working through us.
We must remember that God is in charge, and He will make things right. It is not our responsibility to avenge ourselves for the wrong people have done to us. Only God has the authority to do so. Praying for people who have wronged and insulted us requires us to draw on God’s strength and love. It is difficult to do, but God’s grace is available to help.
It takes more than saying a prayer and moving on to be forgiven. It is a significant decision that you make regularly. Although the procedure will almost certainly be unpleasant and difficult, it will always be worthwhile.
Forgiving the wrongdoer does not always imply restoration of the relationship. When we forgive someone who has injured us, we open our hearts to the potential of a change. Forgiveness allows us to focus on the future and overcome the hurt of the past. It is crucial to realize that forgiving does not give the other person permission to continue to inflict pain. In some cases, it’s not possible or necessary to restore relationship with the offender. Sometimes it’s not wise to do so.